DAD STORIES: “JAYBIRD”

Driving with my dad.

“There’s Jaybird Randall’s old house, Andy.”

“Oh.”

“Did I ever tell you about Jaybird?”

“Yeah, a couple times.”

“He was my friend who killed himself by shooting himself in the chest with a shotgun.”

“Yeah, dad, you’ve told me about him.”

“Usually when guys kill themselves with guns, they shoot themselves in the head but he shot himself in the chest. That’s still a pretty good way to kill yourself though.”

“Yeah, that’ll do it.”

“He was the unluckiest guy I ever met in my life. He was always falling down and breaking bones. I remember one time he got kicked in the balls by a mule. Nothing would ever go right for him. His wife was real mean too.”

“That’s sad.”

“Hey, do you want me to buy you a milkshake?!”