DAD STORIES: “FINGERED”

Met my dad for lunch:

“Sorry, I’m late, Andy! Traffic was a bugger! Some maniac almost ran me off the road!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and I was so doggon mad, I did something I’m not proud of at all!”

“What?”

“I fingered him!”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, I fingered him!”

He holds up his middle finger.

Dad, that’s not what you call that.”

“There you are being critical of me again!”

“It’s called giving someone the bird or flipping them off. No one calls it ‘fingering someone.'”

The waitress comes by, my dad doesn’t notice.

“Andy, you call it whatever you like, I’m not an expert on fingering people like you! I hardly ever finger people!”

The waitress walks away.

“Well, I think you made the waitress uncomfortable, dad.”

“Oh, she needs to quit being so dramatic! Like she’s never fingered someone before!”